i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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