DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
