Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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