hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
