i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
