It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
