He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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