I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
