I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
