I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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