doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
