I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
