I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
love makes seman taste better
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I want a musical about memes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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