You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
