i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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