come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
