Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she peed on how many people?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
