she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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