Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
