VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
