You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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