Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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