You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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