i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
