Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
