Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have aggressive nipples.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
