so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
