Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
