Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
high people should be assigned attendants
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
