garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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