I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
