this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize