he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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