I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
