yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Farmville is her only friend.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
