Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
