hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
