party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
