Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
