i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
