i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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