Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
