I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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