Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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