i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
