So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize