oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She even gives head with a lisp.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
