marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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