You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
