those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
