Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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