Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
