For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
