She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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