Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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