Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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