Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
