Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
