So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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