shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
