Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
